Play with Andrea Day

Dear Sabrina Banana, 

Most parents looking at me would think I spend all the time with you. Not a lot of people know that even if I am technically at home with you, I do have a lot of other things going on. I go to school, I train for our church ministry, i have bible studies, I do counseling, I do parent coaching and i do corporate training. 

The time i have left is divided between you and dad. A lot of times we spend a big chunk of our time homeschooling and  talking. It is a considerable amount of time but I somehow forgot that you are a kid and you need play. The other day you told me that I don't play with you as much anymore. This broke my heart. 

A part of me wanted to get defensive and say "What? Are you kidding me? Do you know what I'm sacrificing to stay at home and teach you? And now you're saying that's not enough?"....that was my pride talking. I decided to take what you said humbly (whether or not it was accurate is not the point, you are sharing with me your   perspective and I should honor that) and say 

"I'm so sorry honey. I know I've been so busy. I really can't play with you   tonight because i have a meeting then I have to go to school but i have an idea. On Thursday, I will not work at all the whole day. No studying, no computer, no playing games on my phone. This Thursday will be the PLAY WITH ANDREA day"

You were beyond excited. I asked you to plan our day. You started making a list of games and activities which even included dancing and some snacks. 

You had a running countdown and last night you told your dad "Mom and I are going to play the WHOLE day! She is not going to work at all thy's why she spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday working so hard"

It takes so little to make you happy. Some games, some snacks, yet sometimes i forget. Thank you for reminding me and for loving me through my mistakes. 

Love ya, 

Momma

Sleepover

Dear Sabrina Banana,

"Why don't you want to take care of me anymore?"

You have been asking us this question more and more lately. You see we are slowly training you to learn how to take care of yourself. Maybe daddy and I should have done this sooner, but we cannot help wanting to take care of you. We do realize that we need to let you grow into the person God wants you to be. So we need to start training you to be more independent.

Last Friday, you were invited to join a sleepover and despite our apprehensions . We trusted the people you were going to be with and I knew they loved you and would take care of you like we would. We were glad that you were able to experience this. You were just as apprehensive as we were. You were wondering who would take care of you, etc

You did it. You told me you were nervous during certain parts of the sleepover but you still tried your best. I couldn't be any more proud. I'm looking forward to more activities that would help you grow in your relationship with other people.

Love ya,

Momma

Super Swamp Heroes

Dear Sabrina Banana,

I am writing this for documentation sake, because I feel we have broken down a barrier, one i've been trying to break down for the past couple of month. You see honey, you've always been so concerned with right and wrong, so much so that you're not so keen on imagining things. This bothered me because I strongly believe in the importance of creativity and the imagination and your penchant for being exact and right is hindering you from exploring your creative side.

I don't know if it's homeschooling or if it's from your gymnastics lessons but somehow this week you started feeling more empowered to imagine! It started when you drew red and yellow clouds the other day. I was thrilled! I told you that I wished we could really see yellow clouds outside...we dreamt about what it would taste like if we licked them.

 Then today you came to me with your own story -- with a title! You called it the Super Swamp Heroes and here's how it goes. (This is written in the way you relayed it to me)

- There were 4 super heroes who live in a swamp.
- Then a robber came and put all their costumes in a sack and took them away.
- The next day the super heroes went to the house of the robber to get their costumes back because they can't help people without their disguise.
- The robber was not home because he went to the supermarket to buy breakfast.
- He bought cereal and 3 kinds of milk, the white kind, chocolate and strawberry.
- He also likes pancakes with regular syrup, maple syrup and strawberry syrup! I had a blast listening to this story.

I told you we could turn this into a book so your daddy can read it when he gets home from Davao. Please keep on dreaming and imagining.

There's such a beautiful world inside our minds and I hope you don't go back to being afraid of exploring it.  --Liv

Love ya,

Momma

Trust

Dear Sabrina Banana,

Last week, you were sick. I wrote you a letter during that time: Sick Baby. I told you about how I tried to teach you about the need to trust me and to believe that I will not lie to you and that I will do my best to take care of you.

Imagine how terrible I felt last Tuesday when I was 10 minutes late in picking you up!! Here I am asking you to trust me, yet I wasn't so dependable. =( As soon as you got inside the car you immediately said "Mommy you weren't there when I went out".  I apologize and told you about what caused the delay. You looked at me proudly and said "I just waited in the classroom and I didn't cry".

You see, in the past, you used to cry at the slightest delay of your fetcher. I asked you why you didn't cry and you said "Because I'm sure you will pick me up, like you said." WOW. On one hand, my guilty feelings resurfaced but at the same time I'm so happy that you now understand that Daddy and I can generally be trusted (albeit, 10 minutes late in this case). When you said this, I pulled over and hugged you....and I silently thanked God for guiding daddy and I in raising you to be as wonderful as you are now.

Love you,

Momma

Sick Baby

Dear Sabrina Banana,

You have been sick these past couple of days and you have no idea how hard it is for both Daddy and me to see you as uncomfortable as you are now. We don't know why you got sick, it could have been from the play place we visited over the weekend. Our whole household is affected because we don't know how to deal with you being this sick because you very rarely get sick. The worst that has happened to you is that you had fever for 24 hours...now you've been sick for 4 days!

Thank goodness you are such a great sport. You take your medicine like a champ...no complaints at all. Sometimes, I'd wake you up in the middle of the night to give you medicine and you had no problem with that as well.

You know what? One of the most challenging things I've experienced is hearing you cough like crazy in the middle of the night, then look at me with tears in your eyes and say "Mom it hurts, it really hurts". There was that pleading look, as if saying "Mom, you are always able to fix things. Why aren't you fixing this? Why aren't you making this pain go away?". It broke my heart in ways you will not understand until you yourself have your own child.

Yesterday, I told you we were going to the doctor. You were not happy with that. You said you don't want the injection and by your own words "The doctor makes me nervous". I told you that I am sure the doctor will not give you shots today and that you have to trust me. Our conversation went like this:

Liv: Do you think I always tell you the truth?
Andrea: Yes
Liv: Do you think I lie to you?
Andrea: No
Liv: Do you believe I am going to tell you the truth now?
Andrea: Yes
Liv: The doctor will only use three things, thermometer, stethoscope and a flashlight. That's it. No injection. I promise. Do you believe me?
Andrea: Yes

When we reached the doctor's office you went from nervous to alert and friendly. You said hi to the doctor, embraced the doctor and gave a detailed account of your illness and your medicines. I was laughing because I'm not used to you being that sociable. The doctor was so impressed, and truth be told, so was I.

I told you after that I felt proud of you. I felt proud because you obeyed, and because you were able to "force" yourself to do something you don't want to do.

You're feeling a little bit better now so the challenge for all of us at home is having to remind you to take it easy and take it slow. Every time Daddy and I would call home to ask how you're doing you would have 10 complaints about the things your nanny won't let you do. We have to gently remind you that your body is still trying to get better and yes, your nanny is right...this is not the time to fly a kite. =)


Love ya,

Momma

Quality Time

Dear Sabrina Banana, 

Daddy's work takes him away from us several days a week. It breaks his heart you know? Having to be so far away from us and knowing that we miss him just as much as he misses us. Which is why he takes the time to take you out on dates on certain occassions. Like this movie date!

Daddy can't spend as much time with you as I can but there's no denying that he loves you sooooo much. The important thing is not how much time he spends with you but the quality of  your time together.  

I once said that the best thing I've ever done as a mother is to make sure that you have a dad as awesome as your dad. 

Love, 

Momma

Random Special Day

Dear Sabrina Banana,

We normally don't allow you to sleep with us at night. You see, we think it's important that you learn to sleep on your own plus Mom and Dad need the night time to catch up with each other. We do allow you to sleep with us during "special days"

Special days are birthdays, Christmases, New Years, etc. Last night, I asked you if you wanted to sleep on mommy and daddy's bed. You said "Is it a special day?". I said YES! And you wanted to know what the occassion was. I said "January 11 is Mommy loves me so much day". You dug that!

Is is hereby decreed that January 11 will be the official "Mommy loves me so much day"

Love ya,

Momma

The World's Not Nice All the Time But I Hope You Are

Dear Sabrina Banana,

I am feeling a bit sad. I just found out that one of your cousins who is just 6 years old is now refusing to go to school because he is being bullied. This cousin is such a sweet boy, very kind and polite and it's making his parents wonder if they should just teach him to fight back.

Another cousin of yours is going through a similar thing. His classmates are hurting him and kicking his bag, etc. His mother taught him that he should fight back. That's what he's doing now and I don't think it's okay but that's really not my call.

It makes me sad how we try to hard to instill the values in our kids and it leaves you and your cousins vulnerable to other kids whose parents didn't focus on disciplining their kids and teaching their kids right from wrong. YES, I blame their parents.

It makes me sad because I know you are vulnerable to this. You have such a sweet and gentle disposition that  I know I have to teach you how to deal with this kind of attitude. I don't want you to fight though, please don't think that fighting is okay.

When you were 3, your classmates would grab your toys and you would just look sadly and move on to other toys which the other kids would then grab. This is why we had a game at home. I pretended that one of your dolls (Donald Duck) grabbed your toy and we practised how to deal with it.

The other day, while we were riding your service a little boy elbowed you and you got hurt. This happened in front of me and in front of his mother. I was aghast. If the kid had the audacity to do this in front of his mom he obviously doesn't think it's not right. You wanted to move elsewhere and get away from him. I didn't let you. I know it seems cruel but you have to learn how to deal with bullies. I told you to tell him what you feel about what he did. You said loudly "Hey don't hurt me!", somehow that scared him and he was the one who moved away from you.

The smile of satisfaction in your face after you did that was priceless. I knew at that moment that you felt empowered. I hope you realize that you do have the power to make things stop, or if you don't God does. Daddy pointed out that we also need to teach you when it's time to just move away and let things go. I hope we'll find another opportunity to teach you.

Love,
Momma