When I was a kid, I had a friend named K. K was pretty, she was always neat, she spoke well (and clearly), she was responsible, she went home from school with her hair, uniform, and bag all fixed neatly and perfectly, she was also smart and got amazing grades (she graduated Valedictorian from her grade school and high school). Gramma would always say "Look at K...". I resented that. I know now that what she was saying is "Honey, you have every thing and more to achieve what K is achieving...but you're not even trying"; but at that time what I was hearing was "I wish you were K" or maybe "I wish K were my daughter instead". That didn't feel good.
As a mom, I see those interactions differently. I know that no imperfection of mine would make my mom think less of me. I know that she would never ever wish I were someone else. I am loved. But that love meant that she cannot allow me to stay in a state that was less than my best. That love meant that it hurts for her to see me live and act so far below my potential. Yes, it hurt her.
I feel the same about you. I see you. I see the things you are amazing at. I see your struggles. I see the times when you are not even bothering to try. I see when you are doing just enough to get by. I see when you are not giving it your best. I see when you don't want to try out of fear. I see it all. Sometimes it frustrates me, sometimes it saddens me. But all the time, the love is constant. All the time I am happy you are my daughter. All the time, I would choose you over every one else.
Love,
Momma
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