Conversations with Sabrina - Crunchy Deers

Andrea: Mom did the hunter eat the mommy of Bambi?
Liv: Maybe
Andrea: Are deers yummy?
Liv: Some people think so
Andrea: I will never eat them because of their horns!
Liv: Okay
Andrea: Unless the horns are crunchy

A Child's Prayer

Dear God, 


Thank you for letting me learn about attentiveness and for hotdogs....

Breakfast Fun

Dear Sabrina Banana,

One of the best things about being a mom is having the license to be a kid again. Today we did an activity that was so much fun, I couldn't help wishing I had the chance to do this when I was a kid.

First, we made our own "paint". The mixing and blending was great fun but I think you enjoyed tasting each paint more!

Did we make a mess? Oh we sure did!!! But ultimately who cares? You will never remember how neat the house is at breakfast but I'm sure you will remember that day when you and I went crazy and made our own food paint.

Here's our finished work. We ate them, and dipped them in our paint. It was so yummy! We are both left covered all over with colors....we're a mess....a happy, full mess. And I'm so glad we did this.

Love ya,

Momma
p.s.
Edible Paint recipe available here

You Were Sick...

Dear Sabrina Banana, It's been a while hasn't it? Life took over and I didn't manage my time in such a way that I still had time to write here. I'm sorry for that. This past couple of weeks have been crazy. First we put up our family business and then you got sick...very sick. This is your first time being sick after Daddy and I have become Christians and the experience was so different that I felt like I had to share it with you. Your being sick has always affected me so much. Most people think I'm always cool and unaffected --usually they're right, but not when it comes to your health. When you get sick I feel crushed and worried and panicked. I feel like I have to control everything otherwise you will not get well. This time, I still felt bad but in a different way. I felt bad that you were suffering, that you were not okay. I felt bad that you couldn't eat, that you were listless and tired but I wasn't as anxious as before. I realized that you are from God and that you are a child of God. He knows your needs, he knows how to take care of you. I didn't need to control anything because He is in control. Daddy and I prayed with our d-group. We listened to experts advice, did our parts and then lifted everything else to God. We are blessed that after 6 days you are fully recovered without the need for hospitalization. How amazing is God? Love ya, Momma

Conversations with Sabrina - Richness

Andrea: Mom, what's rich?
Liv: It's when you have everything you need and you're happy
Andrea: Am I rich?
Liv: Do you have everything you need?
Andrea: Yes
Liv: are you happy?
Andrea: YES!!!! I'm rich! I'm rich!

Conversations with Sabrina - Great Great Great Parents

Andrea: Is Nanay my grandmother too? 
Liv: Nope, she's your great-grandmother.
Andrea: Why?
Liv: Cause she's the mother of Gramma, your grandmother.
(silence)
Andrea: You're a great mother mommy...

The fact that she turned 5 today is already making me cry...add statements like this and I'm reduced to mush.

Independence, Self-Reliance and Gushing

Dear Sabrina Banana,

I love you so much and I would love nothing more than to spend as much time with you as possible. I would gladly and happily be with you forever if I could…but I can’t. My ego, my being, the mother in me are all aching to baby you. I want so badly to have you dependent on me, I want you to need me, to be reliant on me. I want you to have to call out my name first thing in the morning just because you need me. But I know that’s not good for you in any way. It would be doing you a disservice if I didn’t prepare you for the time I might not be with you anymore.

In a few days, you would be turning 5. That one year from 4 to 5 might not mean much in the greater scheme of things but for you, that one year spells a myriad of changes and development. The most significant for me is how much you have been striving for your independence. My heart is bursting with so much emotion, there’s sadness at losing your complete and utter dependence on me (as when you were inside my stomach), then there’s joy….joy that you are growing beautifully and developing according to your age. And of course there’s pride. Can any mother talk about her child without pride? I think not. I’m proud of the ways you are advanced, and of how you persevere inspite of any delay in your development. Lastly, I am humbled. Humbled that among all the women in the world, God chose me to be your mom. That despite my shortcomings and mistakes I was deemed worthy to raise and guide you throughout your life.

I have to recognize that I don’t own you and that despite coming from me, you are not me. And so I begrudgingly start letting you go and you are lapping up independence like your life depended on it. Yesterday you bathed, brushed your teeth and dressed yourself. Not an easy task for a kid with fine-motor delays…yes you struggled but you kept trying and you persevered! The excitement in you was palpable upon seeing your “success”. You asked me if I was proud of you…”Always” I said, and I meant it.


That night, I was resigned to not being needed anymore. Yet before you slept you looked at me and said “Mommy, do you want to snuggle?”. I smiled and said “Of course I do!”. At that moment,
I realized that letting you grow up did not mean losing you. It simply meant getting to enjoy you differently…maybe, just maybe in an even better way.

Love ya,

Momma