Thursday, July 21, 2011

The World's Not Nice All the Time But I Hope You Are

Dear Sabrina Banana,

I am feeling a bit sad. I just found out that one of your cousins who is just 6 years old is now refusing to go to school because he is being bullied. This cousin is such a sweet boy, very kind and polite and it's making his parents wonder if they should just teach him to fight back.

Another cousin of yours is going through a similar thing. His classmates are hurting him and kicking his bag, etc. His mother taught him that he should fight back. That's what he's doing now and I don't think it's okay but that's really not my call.

It makes me sad how we try to hard to instill the values in our kids and it leaves you and your cousins vulnerable to other kids whose parents didn't focus on disciplining their kids and teaching their kids right from wrong. YES, I blame their parents.

It makes me sad because I know you are vulnerable to this. You have such a sweet and gentle disposition that  I know I have to teach you how to deal with this kind of attitude. I don't want you to fight though, please don't think that fighting is okay.

When you were 3, your classmates would grab your toys and you would just look sadly and move on to other toys which the other kids would then grab. This is why we had a game at home. I pretended that one of your dolls (Donald Duck) grabbed your toy and we practised how to deal with it.

The other day, while we were riding your service a little boy elbowed you and you got hurt. This happened in front of me and in front of his mother. I was aghast. If the kid had the audacity to do this in front of his mom he obviously doesn't think it's not right. You wanted to move elsewhere and get away from him. I didn't let you. I know it seems cruel but you have to learn how to deal with bullies. I told you to tell him what you feel about what he did. You said loudly "Hey don't hurt me!", somehow that scared him and he was the one who moved away from you.

The smile of satisfaction in your face after you did that was priceless. I knew at that moment that you felt empowered. I hope you realize that you do have the power to make things stop, or if you don't God does. Daddy pointed out that we also need to teach you when it's time to just move away and let things go. I hope we'll find another opportunity to teach you.

Love,
Momma